Carrie
by AceM
Summary: Ryan Higa is 30 years old and planning to delete his Nigahiga channel soon since all the stress just becomes too much for him. When he has a heart attack due to his unhealthy work habits, Carrie, a fan of him who has just lost her job, saves his life. Ryan offers her a job- not knowing that her bad attitude was the reason for her former dismissal...


**Creative title for a story, right? (No, not based on Steven King's book^^). I really suck at choosing story titles, so I just named it after the girl in this story. If anyone has a better name, suggestions would be nice!**

**I'm actually pretty uncomfortable writing fanfiction about real people, buuut there's something I've had in my sick and twisted mind for a while now, and I really really want to write it down. Hope you enjoy^^ (And I REALLY hope Ryan will never read long non comedic fanfictions about himself on his videos... if he will I'll have to delete this lol). Most of the story will be written in first-person perspective from Ryan's point of view, only at a few parts from other people's perspective.**

**WARNING: There are some mini swear words in this... nothing special, just the usual stuff you see in youtube comments every day. F-bomb and stuff like that.  
I'll give a warning before every chapter if needed. Hope you enjoy!**

**Ryan's POV**

It was at about 4:00 AM when I started seeing things that weren't actually there and hearing things that were 100% produced by my tired and delirious brain aswell.

I don't know how many times I had started writing a sentence and crossed it out again, then started another one that didn't fit to the rest of the text at all.

The letters had stopped making sense at like 3:00 Am, and at 3:30 they had started to blur together, forming themselves into little dots on the screen of my laptop. And now I had completely forgotten what the whole script I was writing was even about and what purpose it served.

This was like the fourth night this week that I was pulling an all nighter, and like always I tried to survive it with a couple of Red Bulls.

I was aware of the fact that I really wasn't doing myself a favor with all of that- the mirror wasn't lying.

In the last two years I had gotten sunken cheeks, I was unhealthily pale, my weight had drastically dropped, my sleep deprived eyes were swollen, bloodshot and underlined with dark circles, and just recently I had discovered a gray hair. The only thing still missing were the wrinkles.

The "You're so handsome!"- comments on my youtube videos had slowly turned into "You used to be so hot... what happened?".

I didn't let it affect me, but sometimes I wondered if all the stress and hard work had been worth it as it didn't seem to pay off at all.

I had 22 million subscribers on my channel "Nigahiga"- not so much if you look at other youtubers like smosh, who now had like 38 Million, or Pewdiepie, who had reached 70 Million yesterday, or a lot of gamers and pretty-boy vloggers who had mostly started in like 2014.

I had been number 1 on youtube at one point, now I had dropped to number 30, VEVO- channels excluded. I was nothing more than a once-famous youtuber that nobody knows anymore now, and I had lost at least half of my remaining tiny fanbase as soon as all the work and stress had started to make me look like a drug addict.

A few years ago this hadn't been a problem. My friends Greg, Will, Sean and Derrick had helped me filming and editing my videos- we had called ourselves the "Ryan Higa Production Company", or RHPC for short, and it had been so much fun working together with my best friends.

Each of us had had their own task and it had relieved me from so much stress. However Greg, the camera man, had gotten married two years ago, and after his wife Dana became pregnant, they decided it would be better for the kid to grow up in some small, quiet outer borough.

Will had moved to a place closer to his family since apparently they had problems at the moment and needed some support.

Now only Sean and Derrick were left, but since two RHPC members were gone the stress had just become too much for both, especially for Derrick, who had proposed to his girlfriend recently and was now busy with wedding preparations. Their visits and offers to help me had become less and less frequent until they abashedly told me they had found new jobs and wouldn't come to help me anymore.

I didn't hold it against them. They had basically killed themselves for my channel, and I had told them more than once that they didn't need to if they didn't want to.

Now that I was alone I could have, of course, hired a new production company, but I didn't like working with people I didn't know.

They would probably change my scripts, change my ideas, judge my ideas, make my videos their's, make my channel their's, change everything.  
My other friends also weren't an option as they were all too busy to invest so much time into this.

However I also didn't want to divest myself and my viewers from high quality videos- especially not now since the expectations for youtube videos had become so much higher.

Sure, I had made videos without any help many years ago, but back then there hadn't been so much competition and so much pressure- in a time like this these videos just weren't enough anymore. Especially now that I didn't really take young females' fancy anymore.

If my channel already was unpopular now... how much more unpopular would it be once I'd start making videos again that take literally no more effort than turning on the camera and editing for like two hours?

And most of all: I did earn a lot of money from this, the least I could do was working hard for it so it felt deserved.

So I was camera man, writer, editor and director all in one, writing out complicated scripts that took way too long to film and edit. Sometimes when all of that became too much for me, I went to my videos and read the comments to remind myself that it wasn't for nothing. Sadly, lately they didn't really motivate me anymore.

The like and dislike ratio on my latest video was still as good as always; 120 000+ likes, 900+ dislikes, 3 million views.  
However I had released that video three weeks ago, and people were getting impatient.

They probably thought making a 5 minute clip was the easiest thing ever.

_"Dude, I love you and I have watched you since your how to be series but have you gotten a little lazy lately? Smosh makes high quality videos too, but they manage to upload every single friday... I wouldn't be so mad if this was the first time, but you have like 1 month breaks after every single video you release and it's starting to get annoying. get your lazy ass off your couch and hurry the fuck up or I'll unsubscribe.", _one comment said. It had 30 thumbs up.

The reply to that comment said  
_"yeah, i agree... i feel like ryan doesn't appreciate his fans and all they have done for him anymore. like one crappy video every month is enough for us. i miss the old and humble ryan... now he's just an arrogant dick thinking he's too good for youtube. i just unsubscribed , im getting tired of his bullshit. he's a sell out and his videos aren't even that good anymore, so it's not a big loss. ryan, you do know that no one even knows who you are anymore? you should be grateful that there even are SOME people who still watch this shit. get off your high horse and stop with your fucking ego trip, it's starting to get sad."_

20 Thumbs up. I sighed- the youtube community had become even ruder over time. I wasn't even sure why I continued my youtube career. Maybe because I didn't have any alternatives?

Why else was I working my ass off for people who didn't even appreciate it? Was this what raising children was like? You give them everything and they don't give you anything but ingratitude back? If it was, I was genuinely sorry for what I had put my parents through.

I closed the youtube tab and tried to focus on the script I was writing on again, distracting me from the comments. Then, after like ten minutes of just staring on the screen, I closed the laptop. These ungrateful bastards could wait.

**-End of chapter 1**

**I hope you liked it so far and I would appreciate some feedbak^^ Thanks to anyone who read it!**


End file.
